strange_faerie7 (strange_faerie7) wrote,
strange_faerie7
strange_faerie7

why is it that when everyone else started driving the got this sense of maturity around them,and i just keep feeling liek more and more of a failure.

im pretty sure it has to do with the fact that:
-i am immature
-i am not cautious or over cautious
-i am not as smart as they are
-i am not a pretty as they are(okay doesn't affect maturity level or driving skill but annoys me all the same)
-i AM a failure
-i burn down my battery by being forgetful
-oh, im forgetful
-i break down over simple things
-words get to me a lot easier than they get to others, im sure.


when i dont feel wanted, i dont want to make an affort.im scared to make an affort.i dont want to be rejected.so i sit around mopping for myself becuase no one asks me to go do anything, when really i didnt ask either.but when i try, i get brushed off sometimes.and then the next day ill be overlooked and someone else will be asked.this is my fault to some how.

my mom got a gran prix.it is really pretty and lovely to drive.
i will probably end up all alone at the end of my life, shoved into a corner by my own fears, and shyness.i just lock down.i dont know why.
what i would like to happen when i grow up is to get a new car every year.i like driving them.i just do.

surely i am bipolar.

there are too many weird things about me.tooo many. how can normal people deal with them? i am a bore.its understandable that poeple wouldnt want to be around me, talk to me. i bring poeple down.i complain too much.talk too much, without having anything to say.i havent had an original thought in years im sure.

i wan tto leave ball high.we may be getting uniforms next year.but even that isnt the reason i want to leave.

i had been looking forward to this spring break.but its the second night and im already dreading it.

there really isnt anythign wrong in my life.why do i complain so damn much then? other poeple have so much more to worry about.real problems.not just shit they come up with in there heads.not just the fact that things dont always go thier way or that their friends are growing up with out them.
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